So much of what I do with my clients is overshadowed by their deeper pains.
In the intimacy of undies and hot closets, I learn about childhood scorn, repressed self-judgement, and sometimes even undisclosed sexual assault.
Clothing and a daily routine of getting ready for our day is a heavy load to carry for a lot of people. If that is you, you are not alone. On the contrary, you are in good company.
Today, I’d like to introduce you to an amazing Life Coach: Molly Roman. Molly has worked with several of my clients, was recently featured on a Facebook live with me, and has written a blog specifically catered to you. Sit yourself down in a quiet place. Take a deep breath with a pencil in your hand. Begin.
How to Love Your Body | Your Own Self-Guided Exercise
by Molly Roman
Did you know that how you feel can impact whether or not you achieve your goals? Feelings create our actions. And how we feel in our own skin is one way we either move towards or away from what we want. If we feel confident, then our actions are rooted in those feelings. If we feel insecure, then our actions mirror that self-doubt. So it’s important to learn how to love your body.
For example, it’s a Friday night. I hate my body. I feel so gross in my clothes. Everyone else seems to be ‘cuter’ than me. I don’t want to go out and be around all of those people because it just makes me feel bad about myself. As a result, my goal of finding a loving partner is put to the way side because I would rather stay inside my house alone with my cat [or dog].
But let’s say I love myself just the way I am. I may not be satisfied with how I look, but I’m comfortable in my own skin. I know that my appearance isn’t representative of my self worth. If someone does judge me on my exterior, bless their hearts; they are missing the mark. I go out on that Friday night and I have fun, make new friendships and create joy. I may not meet the love of my life, but I create meaningful experiences.
There are two ways we can change how we feel in our bodies. The first is to hire an image consultant like Leslee Hill of Hill Image. Leslee, in particular, has a knack for teaching others how to dress in order to feel confident. And what have we learned? That how we feel impacts our actions. If we now feel secure in our wardrobe, we make new choices and that means different outcomes and experiences. Those results can be just the ticket to building resilient belief systems around our self-worth and image. (Yah Leslee! for being the catalyst to changing others lives!!).
The second way to change how we feel about our bodies is to directly examine our current beliefs by first becoming aware of their impact on our lives and then working backwards from how we would like to feel. Below is a self-guided exercise to help you do just that and learn how to love your body (please be sure to physically write out your answers for maximum effect!!).
In my body, I generally feel:
Avoid words like “fat” and “skinny” as they are an opinion, not a feeling. Feelings could be “uncomfortable”, “self-conscious”, “awkward”, “less than”, “gross”.
Feeling this way has caused me to:
We want tangible results, not intangibles like lose confidence or have low self-esteem. Examples include rejecting people who aren’t like me, judging others based on sight rather that getting to know them, staying in on a Friday night when I’m actually really lonely!, not working on my fitness goals, becoming upset or depressed, being jealous of others.
As a result, it’s likely that I’ve lost:
Examples include potential fulfilling friendships or romantic relationships, rewarding experiences, business opportunities, potential clients.
In my body, I want to feel:
Examples include confident, beautiful, powerful, joyful, sexy, excited, energized, passionate, loving.
If I physically remain exactly as is, what must I believe to feel this way?
Examples include: Medis [or a family member or someone in my life] does not dictate the image of beauty. Tall is beautiful and elegant. Curvy is delicious. My ________ makes me unique. My body is not the sum total of my human worth and dignity; I am worthy to receive what I want. I am valuable just as I am. It’s just a skin suit so it’s not who I am. Because no one has the perfect body, it’s about accentuating the positives and I can do that.
I appreciate my body for allowing me to:
Examples include letting me travel, enjoying hikes outside or walks with friends/pets, hugging and embracing those I love, SEX!, creating fun and meaningful experiences.
I will cherish my body this week by:
Examples include going for a walk, not over-exercising, over-eating or starving my body, getting a massage or a facial, etc.
Learning how to love your body may not happen over night and changing our mindsets isn’t always immediate. But when we repeat our new beliefs daily, focus on what we love about our bodies and choose to be kind and grateful for what we currently have, our lives do change.
If you are interested in learning more from Molly, join her The Joy Love Club Facebook group.
Please sign up here for your chance to win FREE COACHING. Molly will help you discover so much about yourself that she’ll leave you shocked that you didn’t see it so clearly before.